Kathy Kolbe - "Dos and Don'ts to Reduce Holiday Stress" (Guest Article)

This showed up in my in-box his month and I enjoyed it so much that I thought I would ask Kathy Kolbe if I could reprint it here.  She graciously told me I could and so I wanted to share this with you just before the holidays..  While I don't use the Kolbe A Index much with clients, I have always appreciated the instrument.  It has such a positive style about it and many people resonate with the tool. There are also some great "versions" for children as well.

Right now there is a 15% holiday season discount on your orders. Check out the Kolbe site.

"Dos and Don'ts to Reduce Holiday Stress"

All the positive feelings about the holidays won't prevent cognitively caused stress between family and friends. Here are a few tips to surviving those festive gatherings:



Do put initiating Fact Finders in charge of explaining traditions. Let others know there is time set aside to listen – and that there's an enforceable stopping point.



Do put the camera away when a preventative Implementor is putting up a tree or large decorations. It's a not a pretty picture.



Don't interrupt or even go near initiating Follow Thrus when they're focused on making a pattern, whether it's in lights on a tree or decorations on a cake.



Don't ask a preventative Follow Thru for a list of gifts they want. What they really want is to never make another list – for any purpose.



Do have a preventative Quick Start pick the background music – if you truly want to keep it in the background.



Do include a Facilitator who is empowered to be the peacemaker – even if you have to bring in a long-lost cousin or neighbor. Remember...we told you so!



Don't rip apart the elegant packaging of either initiating Fact Finders or initiating Implementors. It's part of their gift to you.



Don't give an initiating Quick Start a challenging game/puzzle if you don't want them to immediately get caught up in the challenge of solving it.



Don't be surprised if an initiating Fact Finder who gets a book sits there and reads it while others are moving ahead.



Don't be offended if an initiating Quick Start bought you a gift at the last minute. That's means you're special to him or her.



Don't mess with where things go on the buffet of initiating Follow Thru hosts.



Don't hesitate to pass the carving knife to the most initiating Implementor at the gathering. 

Don't worry about the mess if you let a preventative Follow Thru carve the turkey.



Do encourage a preventative Implementor to do something else while good glassware is getting washed/dried.



Do count on insistant Quick Starts to both create and handle last minute crises.



Do have preventative Fact Finders let everyone know when it's time to go home. They won't waste any time figuring out how to say it.

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Hot off the presses is Martha Beck on the Kolbe Wisdom It Takes all Kinds: How To (Finally!) Keep Your New Year's Resolutions   Jan 2010 O, The Oprah Magazine